Default is a Bitch!

What it is and why we do it.

Photo by Jan Baborák on Unsplash

You’re on your way home from work. You’re taking the same route as always. You’ve done it a thousand times. You’re practically unconscious.

But today is different. You might be on your way home, but home is not the destination. You’re headed to the gym. It’s your New Year’s Resolution. You owe it to yourself to get in better shape this year. You owe it to your wife and kids, too. You’re sick and tired of being sick and tired. You’re ready to take a different route in this thing we call life—

“Where am I going?” You say, scolding yourself just louder than a whisper. You’ve just taken Exit 69C, the exit you take to get home. The exit you planned on taking was another mile or so on I-196. Getting back on the highway isn’t exactly easy, either. It’s going to cost you sitting at a traffic light, or two. Then you’ll have to choose between a borderline illegal U-turn, or turning into Taco Bell’s parking lot, all while rush hour traffic is tighter than scales on snakeskin.

You let out a sigh, then say: “Screw it.” You decide the juice isn’t worth the squeeze. You decide you’re not worth it. You wouldn’t even know where to begin anyways, you rationalize. Free weights or machines? Ahh to hell with it. Even if you had a modicum of training acumen, you see yourself as a helpless fatso and everyone would judge you harshly. Trust me Dear Reader, it takes one to know one. I’ve been there. You're home just minutes later, (and you pull straight into the garage instead of backing in).

That’s Default.

Francis Xavier once said: “If you give me the child until he is seven, I will show you the man.” What Xavier implied was, the first seven years of our lives ingrain in us our personal realities, which then become our personalities.

Obviously a seven-year old can’t drive. But a seven-year old—given a particular set of circumstances during his childhood—can feel unworthy, not good enough, even fat. If the poor kid remains none the wiser, those unconscious thoughts and beliefs remain just that, unconscious—just like your drive home. Our personal realities become our personalities.

That’s why we do it.

Default is a bitch!